Un Ami ou Un Amour

"Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." -When Harry Met Sally

CAN men and women just be friends? Lately, my experience with this situation has been a little too close to home. Let's face it. Most of my friends really ARE men, but they are also GAY. Sure! I have straight male friends as well. But now that I think about it, even when the relationship seems purely platonic, I always have the tiny thought in the back of my mind, "What if..."! A great romantic relationship is one that has a strong foundation of friendship....so it is easy for me for me to consider, if only for a moment, what my friends may be like in another "context". Crossing the boundary of friendship and love is definitely a danger zone! Ironically, the very friendship that may make your relationship so great could easily be destroyed if lines are crossed. I wouldn't consider myself a risk-taker. But, when it comes to love, I am willing to take a chance....even if it is my friend.

Have I answered my question? Well, truthfully, I think that it depends on the person. I know that I CAN and WANT to have male friends: gay and straight. Often when I need advice, it is so great to get a man's perspective. And, I hate to break it to you ladies, but men are less dramatic. (I am NOT excluding myself from the dramatic category!) I think the key is to have have ultimate faith in the friendship above all. Secondly, I leave my future to fate. I am confident that what is meant to be will be.... so if I persue something with a friend that doesn't work out, no one is to blame except for fate. So, here I am fate... ready and willing to see who will sweep me off my feet. -M

i Want That

i head off to work amidst a sea of people plugged into white earphones. i reach into my pocket and touch the click wheel on my new video iPod and scroll to find my favorite song. i realize i am fully willing to participate in the iERA.... i am the proud owner of my third iPod since their intoroduction in 2001 (and wanting to purchase my fourth) and my fourth apple laptop. iTunes has completely taken over my computer with songs, tv shows, and movies which conveniently update to my iPod with a mere cable to my computer. iWeb has fully enabled me to design a webpage through .Mac in order to keep friends and family updated on my life in Tokyo. Should I mention iPhoto, iMovie, and iDVD? I have created several wedding slideshows for friends and family that have really tempted me to purchase high quality cameras in order to get more creative with video and photo editing. Call my crazy, but call my on my new iPhone in JUNE! I cannot wait to purchase Apple's newest product to fall from their tree. The iPhone will completely replace each portable device in my gorgeous handbag and combine them into one. If i haven't convinced you to run to your nearest apple store to buy iSOMETHING, then I urge you to atleast window shop. i know you will enjoy the view. -M

The Truth Hurts, and Is Also Hard to Tell....

I feel as though I have gone through life knowing that honesty is always the best policy. This notion has been so ingrained in my head that I have become afraid of even telling the smallest white lie. But, even with my fear of lying, I am certainly capable of making it happen....with a huge guilt trip to follow.... But I often wonder why we lie? Do we lie merely to protect ourselves? Avoid confrontation? Forget embarrassing moments? To exclude others? Whatever the reason, it is amazing how transparent a lie can be! The feeling of knowing you have been lied to really hurts. Not only have you been deceived, but, you know you have been deceived on purpose. The truth is, nothing hurts more than a lie..... and I am learning that I must surround myself with people who are comfortable in telling the truth.....because without that, there is nothing.-M

The "Joy" of Singlehood

Personally speaking, I have been out of the dating scene for quite some time....maybe 5 years or so? But now that I am diving head first into the sea that is supposedly full of fish.....I am realizing that this supposed vast ocean has seemingly gotten smaller. I am realizing that attention is a slippery slope when you may be feeling lonely after a few drinks....and that needing attention and truly having an interest in someone can be easily mistaken. I am realizing that even when you think you know someone, you really have no clue. I am realizing that the comparison game can be a very painful way to bring an amazing spirit to a darker place. I am realizing that I am scared to be vulnerable to someone who may break my heart. But ultimately, I realize that even in the midst of all these conclusions, I still hope to find that one person that someday, will complete my life in a way that even I could never have imagined. -M

"Save the Cheerleader, Save the World"

Thanks to iTunes, I have been able to purchase the first season of Heroes. I was introduced to the show by some friends here, and immediately got hooked. Sure...there are the occasional bad lines and deliveries, but the show really appeals to me! (and not only because of the infused Japan references) I love the idea of having some sort of "special" gift or power. It got me thinking.... if I were to have a special power, what would I want? Do I already have one? I would love to have that 6th sense.... the ability to see the world for more than just the "physical". Perhaps I got a small taste of that after Grandma died earlier this month. I have dreampt about her twice since she passed away, and maybe....just maybe.... she actually came to visit me. One of the dreams was extremely vivid. It was her memorial service in church and I was sitting in the front. I was not alone.... Grandma was sitting beside me, chatting away as usual! BUT, I was the only one who could see and hear her! I became upset because I realized that it was her spirit sitting with me. The priest asked me if Angela Lovelace was present, and I said, "Yes!" He immediately looked at me and said, "We have to let her go....." and then in an instant, she vansihed and I felt her spirit had moved on to Heaven. I don't know if I have the 6th sense.... I am STILL waiting to see a ghost in my waking life.....but I do know that I was special enough to have Grandma come for a brief visit in my dreams.... to help me deal with letting go..... and that is definitely good enough for me! -M

2007: The Year of the Boar

Welcome to 2007 everyone.... I celebrated yet another countdown to the new year in Tokyo. 2006 has definitely been a year to remember. I made some significant changes that at one time in my life seemed impossible to confront. I traveled to places I never knew I would see in my lifetime. I experienced the loss of a loved one. I drove across the United States in my beloved Beetle Convertible! I closed the door on something that haunted me for years. I have pondered the usual resolutions...which of course will always start TOMORROW. However the most important thing to me is knowing that I am completely content with my life. I am truly happy. I simply cannot think of a better way to enter a new year....-M

I'll Be Home For Christmas

Well, the holidays have arrived. It is Christmas Eve in Japan and I find myself sneaking in every last ounce of Christmas music while I can. If you work for the "Mouse" then you probably know that the holidays last nearly two months, but it is amazing how you can still manage to feel so separated from the holiday spirit. I have done everything I can to make my Christmas special in Japan. I have a beautiful, yet fake, Christmas tree adorned with all of my ornaments from home. My stocking is hung by the WINDOW with care. Two baby poinsettias are decorating my coffee table alongside Martha's December issue! I even baked Christmas sugar cookies. But something tells me it is not quite the same. There is something to be said for being HOME for Christmas. I miss my family this time of year. I miss seeing the last-minute shoppers on Christmas Eve. I miss the nearly empty tree lots. I miss the amazing raviolis my uncle makes every year for Christmas dinner. I miss the rolling green hills in Lafayette. So while I am an ocean away from all of my FAVORITE THINGS, I will be wishing I was home for Christmas.....if only in my dreams. -M