Taking The Plunge....

If I can offer one piece of advice for all of you out there, always have a toilet plunger on hand.....

You all are aware of a little thing called Murphy's Law? ("Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way"-Wikipedia) Well, I am quite familiar with this particular law in my life. I feel as though Murphy is laughing at me somewhere saying, "I told you so!"

I am pretty sure no New York experience would be complete without an disaster in the bathroom of your new apartment. But did it HAVE to happen the morning HE decided to stay the night?

I snuck out of bed to get my morning routine done in order to to give him the time he needed to get ready for work without me being in the way. I flushed the toilet using my ever-so-absorbant Charmin super soft T.P. and hopped in the shower. I couldn't wait to see if he wanted to grab some coffee together or maybe even some breakfast before he left.

I started to condition my hair and I heard a loud dripping sound that was in no way related to my shower... "Uh oh" I thought.... As I peaked out from behind my shower curtain, to my total horror, my entire bathroom was flooding and flooding FAST. As my purse started to float away and my clothes for the next day were now saturated with toilet water, I panicked and realized it was 8:30 in the morning, I had a guy in my bed, my bathroom was flooding, and I didn't have a plunger. His alarm would be going off soon, and I had to act fast! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*%!!!!!

I threw on a hat over my non-rinsed conditioned hair and a juicy suit sans underwear and ran downstairs to the local grocer. He spoke little English and as tried to show him "plunger" in sign language, I realized that not only was I NOT getting the point across, but the gesture looked just a bit sexual! Imagining the water rising, I ran to the corner Rite-Aid Pharmacy and asked for a plunger. "Sorry hun, but we don't carry them." In total and utter desperation to prevent any further embarrassment, I asked for the Rite-Aid manager. After being paged over the sound system, the manager reluctantly approached me.

I realized was about to ask a man I didn't know to lend me his plunger. And I did ask him. And he gave me one. (Thank God) And I ran home to take the "plunge" but not in the good way, I can assure you.

All the while, he slept soundly in my new bed furnished by Sleepy's covered in soft white bedding surrounded by brand new pillows... and I threw every towel I owned on the floor along with some clothes and tried to mop up the mess. With my pants rolled up to my thighs, I mopped, and squeezed it outside the window, mopped and squeezed, mopped and squeezed.... oops... I may have mopped and squeezed on to someone below. This was just another victim of my overflowing disaster.

Finally, the bathroom was relatively back to normal, but not before he had peaked his head in the bathroom only to see me wringing out one of my towels. Trying to explain this situation to someone you're trying so hard to impress is just...well...awkward. I mean, toilets overflow from time to time. It's just that no one really wants to surmise just WHY a toilet has overflowed, especially with someone you are starting to date. And with that, he left my house, and left me with the discomfort of sheer embarrassment.

Well, to be honest, I am not sure if wine-buying pinkie grabber will be back to 31st Ave in Astoria. And seeing as how I try to keep my eyes and ears open for signs, maybe he's just not supposed to. Maybe my toilet was trying to tell me something?

In an effort to see the toilet "half full", I realize that I will be the proud owner of a brand new plunger, just what ever city girl is dying to have! -M