Designated Dialer

We've all done it. We've all been there. We've all opened our bloodshot eyes in the morning, still drunk, remembered it, and covered our faces with our hands and regretfully wondered, "WHY!!!!!?"

Yes. The "drunk dial" is one of those monsters that invades our fingertips after one too many. It has become so much easier to accomplish these days. Since the dawn of cellular telephones and personal computers, the frequency of drunk dials has multiplied exponentially. Now, with an address book in your phone, you don't have to remember someone's number when you're drunk. Hell, you don't even have to remember their name! Your phone takes care of that for you. Just hit a button, and you are free to spew all the stupid things out of your drunk mouth that you won't remember in the morning. If you keep some form of tact, you may just drunk text: A form of drunk dial, which similarly cannot be undone, but somehow makes you feel slightly better because the person didn't have to listen to your slurring. Then of course, there is always the drunk myspacing or facebooking. That is quite possibly the worst form of drunk dial. Not only does your dialee get the unfortunate message, but so do all of your friends AND their's. You spend the entire morning re-reading the messages wondering how they may be interpreted. You search the internet for ways to delete them when you know you can't. Like maybe facebook added a new feature while you were partying last night?

WARNING: Drunk dialing is habit forming and not recommended for regular use. Can lead to serious anxiety, heart palpitations, and in some rare cases can cause depression. Please contact a friend immediately if symptoms occur.

Did I drunk dial last night? Yes. Did I drunk dial the night before last? Yes. Will I drunk dial tonight? Quite possibly. -M