Wake Up Call

Good morning Mandy. This is life giving you your wake up call.....

Yep. It's been one of those mornings. I was going through all of my clothes trying to organize and pack. Yes. Packing again. As I shuffled through items in my closet that I haven't touched in months or in some cases, years, I decided to try a few on.... Bad idea. They don't fit. One piece after another, zippers won't zip, buttons won't close, and some are like a Houdini escape act to even try and take off again.

I want to live in my sweats because they are comfortable. I avoid wearing my jeans at all costs. And I dread the thought of shopping because I know it will force me to see what size I really am at the moment.

SH*T SH****T SH********************T! How did this happen?

Well, truthfully, I know exactly how it happened. I fully participated in the process of making it happen. With every sip of alcohol, every serving of chips, guacamole, and salsa, with every slice of cheese, with every excuse for why I shouldn't go to the gym, I have not only made myself feel uncomfortable in my own skin, but I have continued to put my health at risk. Oops.

I scratch my head. I wonder if it is too late? Can I turn it around? I mean, look at Madonna! I can have arms like that! If I vow to NEVER eat cheese or drink alcohol again, eat like a rabbit, and work out four hours a day, every day, for the rest of my life.

And then I begin to wonder, is it all in my head? I mean, I feel fat-er. I look fat-er (to myself). But how do others perceive me? Well, I suppose that depends on whose perspective it is coming from.... If you ask the obese WalMart shopper, she'll probably call me a skinny bi$%&. If you asked Tim Gunn, he would say I am way too fat for even a plus size model. If you ask my mom and my gay best friend, they would simply say that I am beautiful just the way I am.

Well, thanks Mom and thanks Jere, but I can honestly say that I kinda do want my arms to look like Madonna's. Maybe I can eat like a rabbit! Lettuce is good! And working out four hours a day could be great! I mean, especially if I have some good tunes to listen to.... And who needs cheese anyway! I mean, when you really think about what cheese actually is, it's kind of gross.

So here I go. I am throwing away the mantra of Scarlett O'Hara: "I'll think about that tomorrow". I have already thought too much about it today. It is time to do something about it! It is time to feel comfortable in my own skin again! It is time to get to the gym!

Ok, well maybe after lunch!-M