Two days down, three hundred sixty-three more to go. It's a fledgling year, and my festivities have wound down. Everything that I had been looking forward to just crashed hard into a brick wall and dissolved into fragments in my memory. The end of the holiday season has always hit me hard. Not only is it an end to my favorite time of year, but it is also the beginning of a new year in my life marking my birthday in December. This year has been particularly significant for me. I said sayonara to Japan, I moved to a new and unfamiliar city, I turned 30, and I have no job.
For someone who has followed the suburban template for a successful life, guided by two stable and sturdy parents and under the influence of extremely intelligent siblings, it can be a little scary to explain to anyone what exactly it is I am doing or trying to do here in New York. Sometimes it is even difficult to explain it to myself in my own head....especially when your insecurities and doubts scream back at you like a rival gang taunting your every move.
But in spite of the unknown and the fear that accompanies it, I am guided by this overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be okay. Not only is everything going to be okay, but I know I am going to accomplish something great. It could be what I dream of doing, or it could be something I never had dreamed of doing. It's almost as if a guardian angel is constantly sitting beside me. I can't exactly explain it, but I have always felt this presence. As I face this important transition in my life, I am so grateful for this peace of mind. -M
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