Has anyone noticed how status updates have become a forum for some extremely aggressive or depressing messages? In recent log ins, I realized that some of my friends have used this space to express things that have lead me to be greatly concerned for their well being!!!! Some messages are clearly written for certain people to read.... sometimes imbedded with cryptic inside jokes.... or flat out announcements made to embarrass others in a very public way... Some even go to the extreme of posting a new status message every few minutes.... sometimes Facebook or Myspace can't even keep up!!!!
It made me begin to evaluate my use of these social networking sites. Clearly, I enjoy blogging, so is that any different? At least my blog isn't the first thing you see... And, you have a choice whether you'd like to read it or not. Status updates are a quick way to catch up on your friends without heading to their profile! Instead, you are bombarded with messages that leave you stressed and worried for your friends, or just extremely uncomfortable! What ever happened to "X is great!" or "Y is happy!" or "Z is eating pizza!" I understand that we aren't always great, happy, or eating pizza, but if you aren't anything along those lines.....and feel the need to post it on the internet, I highly recommend starting a blog! That way, you can really get into dirty details with us!
Which brings me to another question about status and the internet. If you are in a relationship with someone, is it 100% necessary to have that status posted on your site? You see, I recently started dating someone. In my preferences, I had no mention of any relationship status whatsoever. Then, one day, I received the inevitable status invite to be "in a relationship with 'him' ". It seemed strange to me. I had already reached boyfriend/girlfriend-ness with him, but, I wasn't sure I needed everyone to know my business. However, no response to this invite could potentially worry him or lead him to believe I was not completely into the relationship! What was I to do? I tried to evaluate why I didn't want everyone to know my business. I realized people have better things to care about than my love life....
So the next time you feel compelled to post a status message, I urge you to consider posting something positive, or post nothing at all. And if you are having doubts about announcing your relationship status online, don't worry.... it will quickly become "yesterday's newsfeed". -M
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Snow Flake
I woke up this morning from a very odd dream, as usual. I rolled out of bed, sore from yesterday's class and peered outside between my blinds to see Astoria covered in snow. Flakes continued to gently fall in every which direction just as you would see in a shaken snow globe. I was beginning to seriously debate leaving the house for any reason. But I knew that I had to go to class.
After breakfast and some morning news, I prepared for the day. I packed my bag with tap shoes, jazz shoes, water, my wallet, iPhone, and the usual necessities. I put on several layers and a scarf... along with Uggs and a long down coat with faux fur trim. I descended down the 3 flights of stairs from my apartment and headed to the subway. As I walked on the sidewalk, I noticed how beautifully the untouched snow glistened in the sun as it broke through the clouds. It was sad to me that the snow on the streets had to be so ugly and dirty....
I boarded the Manhattan bound R and sat in the Priority Seating. I didn't mean to sit there on purpose, but I had already made the move. So I sat, making sure no elderly or pregnant woman needed a seat. I wondered if the other passengers near me cared whether I sat there or not.... the further we rode, the less I cared actually.
I thought about how so many years ago I had begged my parents to let me take dance classes. I was already studying piano and swimming most of the year. I had tried soccer and hated it, I played co-ed basketball because I liked a boy on the team...and hated it. T-ball (hated it).... all I really wanted was to dance. I wanted to dance more than anything in the world. Somehow, I convinced my mom and dad to sign me up for a Saturday morning Tap class. Kids Tap 1. I couldn't wait!
My mom took me to the local dance supply store to buy me new tap shoes. They were patent leather flats... oh ya, with the grow grain ribbon....old school! We had the Teletone taps put on the shoes at our local shoe repair. I was fully decked out with my shiny tan tights and new tap shoes.... Every Saturday was like my heaven! I danced my heart out on a black and white checkered floor and eventually made it to the stage in my first ever dance number, Kool Kool Kitty.....
I laughed when I remembered my hot pink dance costume with black music notes. It was truly hideous, but at that age, anything with a sequin made my day. I wished that some of that youthful spirit would find its way back to me now in this cold city. Because I was seriously dreading tap class now that my face was frozen. I wasn't only dreading it for the cold, but I was dreading it because it had been 8 years since I had truly tapped. I dreaded it because I wasn't sure how I would handle the class. I dreaded it because I knew that this is what I had chosen for my life.... and whether I dreaded it or not, I HAD to commit to what I had come to New York to pursue.
How the next few years in New York play out, is completely up to me. And knowing that somehow makes the burden more severe. It's not as if I have a curriculum to follow.... certain things to study....days to attend class... auditions that I am welcome to attend.... No, I am completely in charge of how I spend each second of each day. And when you are not exactly sure how to accomplish the goals you are trying to achieve, developing your own curriculum can be confusing. It can make you feel just like one of those minuscule flakes in a shaken snow globe.
Where will I land in the city? Will I land in a place where I will be well preserved and sparkle in the sunlight? Or will I land in the streets only to turn brown and slushy and melt away into nothing? Well, we are not snowflakes, although seemingly just as beautiful and complicated and unique. We have the power to make life exactly what we want it to be. I know what I want. What do you want your life to be? -M
After breakfast and some morning news, I prepared for the day. I packed my bag with tap shoes, jazz shoes, water, my wallet, iPhone, and the usual necessities. I put on several layers and a scarf... along with Uggs and a long down coat with faux fur trim. I descended down the 3 flights of stairs from my apartment and headed to the subway. As I walked on the sidewalk, I noticed how beautifully the untouched snow glistened in the sun as it broke through the clouds. It was sad to me that the snow on the streets had to be so ugly and dirty....
I boarded the Manhattan bound R and sat in the Priority Seating. I didn't mean to sit there on purpose, but I had already made the move. So I sat, making sure no elderly or pregnant woman needed a seat. I wondered if the other passengers near me cared whether I sat there or not.... the further we rode, the less I cared actually.
I thought about how so many years ago I had begged my parents to let me take dance classes. I was already studying piano and swimming most of the year. I had tried soccer and hated it, I played co-ed basketball because I liked a boy on the team...and hated it. T-ball (hated it).... all I really wanted was to dance. I wanted to dance more than anything in the world. Somehow, I convinced my mom and dad to sign me up for a Saturday morning Tap class. Kids Tap 1. I couldn't wait!
My mom took me to the local dance supply store to buy me new tap shoes. They were patent leather flats... oh ya, with the grow grain ribbon....old school! We had the Teletone taps put on the shoes at our local shoe repair. I was fully decked out with my shiny tan tights and new tap shoes.... Every Saturday was like my heaven! I danced my heart out on a black and white checkered floor and eventually made it to the stage in my first ever dance number, Kool Kool Kitty.....
I laughed when I remembered my hot pink dance costume with black music notes. It was truly hideous, but at that age, anything with a sequin made my day. I wished that some of that youthful spirit would find its way back to me now in this cold city. Because I was seriously dreading tap class now that my face was frozen. I wasn't only dreading it for the cold, but I was dreading it because it had been 8 years since I had truly tapped. I dreaded it because I wasn't sure how I would handle the class. I dreaded it because I knew that this is what I had chosen for my life.... and whether I dreaded it or not, I HAD to commit to what I had come to New York to pursue.
How the next few years in New York play out, is completely up to me. And knowing that somehow makes the burden more severe. It's not as if I have a curriculum to follow.... certain things to study....days to attend class... auditions that I am welcome to attend.... No, I am completely in charge of how I spend each second of each day. And when you are not exactly sure how to accomplish the goals you are trying to achieve, developing your own curriculum can be confusing. It can make you feel just like one of those minuscule flakes in a shaken snow globe.
Where will I land in the city? Will I land in a place where I will be well preserved and sparkle in the sunlight? Or will I land in the streets only to turn brown and slushy and melt away into nothing? Well, we are not snowflakes, although seemingly just as beautiful and complicated and unique. We have the power to make life exactly what we want it to be. I know what I want. What do you want your life to be? -M
Friday, January 2, 2009
Match dot Seriously?
"All my single ladies" (and gentlemen)...."Looking for love in all the wrong places"? It seems as though I have been lately. I decided to jump on the internet dating bandwagon or shall I say bandwidth? While I was living in Japan it seemed like a great idea. After all, the average age of my co-workers was about 21, and the chances of them being interested in women were slim to none. SO it only seemed logical to join one of the most popular dating networks to find other singletons in Japan. All this time I have kept my account, seeing who may peruse my profile.... I am not sure why I continue to pay the biannual fee. I could find better prospects at a dive biker bar.
When you sign up for an account, you fill out details about yourself as well as what you are looking for in your ideal "match". I am pretty sure that when I entered an age range of 25-32 I didn't mean 45. And for those of you who do not post a profile photo, there is no excuse. POST A PHOTO! And why is it that the guys with 2 photos from far away with sunglasses on are always the ones to say, "I'd love to see more of you." I have like 10 photos posted! And please do not use salutations like "TOODLES"! And of course there are always the "matches" that the website chooses for you weekly. I would really love to know who is choosing them for me.... A robot???
So as I continue to paddle my dingy against the current in a sea that is supposedly full of fish... or shall I say, climb the "world wide web" full of spiders, I will hold out on the hopes that there is some fish or spider is looking for me too.... although a huMAN is much more preferable (considering my dislike of both fish and spiders....) -M
************
OK.... I have a spider bite.... and this is one spider I like. A LOT.
I wrote this blog several weeks ago, and only today remembered it. I remembered it when I thought about how I had introduced him to my parents last night! I introduced my parents to a guy that I am starting to like.... and I met him on Match. I met him right after I had written this blog. So someone out there in the universe must have heard my plea!
As much as I hate to admit it, I never would have crossed paths with him unless it had been for Match. So, even with all of its flaws, Match has opened up a new door for me. And I know that many of you out there are thinking, "There is NO WAY I would ever consider internet dating." But all I have to say is, "Don't knock it 'til you try it." -M
When you sign up for an account, you fill out details about yourself as well as what you are looking for in your ideal "match". I am pretty sure that when I entered an age range of 25-32 I didn't mean 45. And for those of you who do not post a profile photo, there is no excuse. POST A PHOTO! And why is it that the guys with 2 photos from far away with sunglasses on are always the ones to say, "I'd love to see more of you." I have like 10 photos posted! And please do not use salutations like "TOODLES"! And of course there are always the "matches" that the website chooses for you weekly. I would really love to know who is choosing them for me.... A robot???
So as I continue to paddle my dingy against the current in a sea that is supposedly full of fish... or shall I say, climb the "world wide web" full of spiders, I will hold out on the hopes that there is some fish or spider is looking for me too.... although a huMAN is much more preferable (considering my dislike of both fish and spiders....) -M
************
OK.... I have a spider bite.... and this is one spider I like. A LOT.
I wrote this blog several weeks ago, and only today remembered it. I remembered it when I thought about how I had introduced him to my parents last night! I introduced my parents to a guy that I am starting to like.... and I met him on Match. I met him right after I had written this blog. So someone out there in the universe must have heard my plea!
As much as I hate to admit it, I never would have crossed paths with him unless it had been for Match. So, even with all of its flaws, Match has opened up a new door for me. And I know that many of you out there are thinking, "There is NO WAY I would ever consider internet dating." But all I have to say is, "Don't knock it 'til you try it." -M
My Guardian Angel
Two days down, three hundred sixty-three more to go. It's a fledgling year, and my festivities have wound down. Everything that I had been looking forward to just crashed hard into a brick wall and dissolved into fragments in my memory. The end of the holiday season has always hit me hard. Not only is it an end to my favorite time of year, but it is also the beginning of a new year in my life marking my birthday in December. This year has been particularly significant for me. I said sayonara to Japan, I moved to a new and unfamiliar city, I turned 30, and I have no job.
For someone who has followed the suburban template for a successful life, guided by two stable and sturdy parents and under the influence of extremely intelligent siblings, it can be a little scary to explain to anyone what exactly it is I am doing or trying to do here in New York. Sometimes it is even difficult to explain it to myself in my own head....especially when your insecurities and doubts scream back at you like a rival gang taunting your every move.
But in spite of the unknown and the fear that accompanies it, I am guided by this overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be okay. Not only is everything going to be okay, but I know I am going to accomplish something great. It could be what I dream of doing, or it could be something I never had dreamed of doing. It's almost as if a guardian angel is constantly sitting beside me. I can't exactly explain it, but I have always felt this presence. As I face this important transition in my life, I am so grateful for this peace of mind. -M
For someone who has followed the suburban template for a successful life, guided by two stable and sturdy parents and under the influence of extremely intelligent siblings, it can be a little scary to explain to anyone what exactly it is I am doing or trying to do here in New York. Sometimes it is even difficult to explain it to myself in my own head....especially when your insecurities and doubts scream back at you like a rival gang taunting your every move.
But in spite of the unknown and the fear that accompanies it, I am guided by this overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be okay. Not only is everything going to be okay, but I know I am going to accomplish something great. It could be what I dream of doing, or it could be something I never had dreamed of doing. It's almost as if a guardian angel is constantly sitting beside me. I can't exactly explain it, but I have always felt this presence. As I face this important transition in my life, I am so grateful for this peace of mind. -M
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