Empire State of Mind

Our plane took off from London and we slowly approached the blanket of gray clouds that comforted this amazing city on a Sunday morning. As we pierced a hole upward through what seemed like a thick layer of down, the layers gave way into the endless blue sky. I thought to myself, "I am so very lucky. And I really hope that God realizes I am aware of that." I don't know why I always ponder these things while flying....it must have something to do with being closer to heaven.... Or at least our perception of it anyway....

I am flying back to that city that at different parts of my life has meant so many different things to me. In high school, it was where I celebrated my 18th birthday at the Hard Rock and sang at Carnegie Hall with my school choir. I saw my first Broadway show, The King and I starring Lou Diamond Phillips. I looked upon the city in amazement for what the world had in store for me, and my life was only just about to begin.

In college, it was a place I strove to go, be successful, and pursue my dreams of Broadway. I studied with the best of my class as we spent a very busy month auditioning and learning the ways and skills needed to survive in NYC.

And when I finally did move to NYC, the ideal slowly turned into a harsh reality that I wasn't sure I could have fully comprehended unless I had experienced it for myself.

Now as I return, under such completely different circumstances, I think about the girl I used to be one year ago. Do I deserve this? All I know, is that with the circumstances I am given, I'll always strive to be the best person I can be, hoping that in the end it will always lead me to the right path.

In any case, it just feels good. I have an endless version of 'If They Could See Me Now' playing on repeat in my head. 'They' being a select few people from my life that didn't support me or believe in me. One person especially in particular who told me "You'll never be on Broadway, just buy a f$@&ing ticket and get in line with everyone else." Well, I suppose he was kinda right in the end. But, for what is was worth to me, "Broadway" just represented success in general, and for that, now I can honestly say that I am very proud of the "role" I play in the show that's "Mandy's Life". It's coming up on its 32 year..... I like to think even ALW would be impressed.

So with one hour left as we slowly descend downward into New York, there is a very small part of me that really looks forward to getting into a smelly yellow cab with crusty and cracked seats. I look forward to the sirens and the honking....the street meat...the gorgeous people going where they need to go.... Because now, they can't take anything away from me anymore.....well, I'm just gonna hold on extra tight to my purse anyway.....just in case! -M