Something Missing

She rode the train home. Standing close to the door holding on to the silver railing adding to the thousands of hand prints that had left their smudgy marks.... like a dog on a fire hydrant. She glanced out the window, and as the train gently rocked back and forth, her breath slowly frosted the glass to remind her that she truly was alive.

As her eyes focused, she went back and forth between her reflection and what was actually on the outside of the window. And when she combined the images, it was if she was gently floating over the Tokyo bay.

She looked down at her feet and wondered WHY she decided to buy the ugly sandals that now not only gave her a blister, but reminded her of a bad Bollywood costume choice. Oh, ya, because she thought they were comfortable and cute when she had tried them on earlier...It seemed funny to her how quickly her perspective had changed.

It was dark out and the city lights glowed like stars on the horizon. It made her wish she had a better view from her apartment. But ultimately, she knew it wasn't the view that was important, but how closely her home could feel like HOME. And it did feel like home. After all, she was comfortable there... she had a great coffee maker. She had a washer/drier combo! She couldn't remember the last apartment she had lived in where she didn't have to climb stairs to do laundry. In any case, she was headed home... late at night... to her coffee maker, her washer drier combo, and although she was happy.... there was something missing.

She knew exactly what was missing. She was missing someone standing beside her taking her home, and supporting her from the bumpy train and drunk business men. She was missing someone to have coffee with in the morning made from that fancy coffee maker. She was missing someone to talk to about her day. She had spent so much time with herself that the conversations in her head even started to feel one-sided. That something, was really someone. And it had been missing so long that she couldn't even recall whether she truly missed it anymore.

But as the train slowly traveled on the tracks that lead her home as they had so many times before.... She knew that out there, beyond the train car...beyond the window....somewhere maybe even in the lights of this dynamic city.... or beyond the horizon....somewhere someone else was missing something too... and that something was her and he just didn't know it yet. And the notion that he was out there, somewhere, gave her something to dream about....-M