3 Days

I don't know what it is about flying that makes me so pensive.... There is an inherent juxtaposition of emotions. Inevitably, you are always leaving something behind, but simultaneously, something also is awaiting you... It's almost as if the time in-between is a portal of thoughts, feelings, and emotions suspended in the air and supporting the aluminum wings of the plane.... You look outside the small windows and see the world slowly pass below the belly of the plane and realize once again that life will continue to go on whether you are there or not....

It was a particularly rainy trip to London this time. The rain welcomed me as I dragged my overpacked luggage from the train station to the taxi queue. The riots had calmed down, but not knowing for sure made me second guess every hooded-sweatshirt person I saw, gripping my luggage especially strong this time around.

I would return to the same hotel once again, hoping to see those familiar faces. For being far away from home, it certainly had become a place I could feel comfortable.... I had no idea what was awaiting me this trip, but now looking back, I wonder if I had the chance, would I have changed the way this week had played out? That is the question....

His name was James, and we met in the lobby lounge of the hotel. Introduced over drinks with friends, I immediately was intrigued. Maybe it was his perfect hair, or adorably perfect eyelashes, but in any case, I had had enough Peroni to muster up the courage to speak with him.

It's been a very long time since I had dated anyone, and the last time I tried, it really didn't end up well. I wouldn't consider myself someone who gives up, or becomes jaded, but I was really starting to wonder if it would ever happen for me again....

If all you had was three days, would YOU pursue it? Well, when you ask at the beginning of the three days, three days can seem like an eternity of possibilities.... But when you ask at the end of the three days, it seems like such a finite amount of time that was fun while it lasted....

We spent those three days with each other.... And my heart saw such possibilities. I found myself believing again that I am worthy of love (which ironically is the meaning of my name). James had the power to show me that I am desirable... The whole experience had the power to show me how much I want to share my life with someone, and to never give up in believing that it will happen for me someday. And for 3 days and a guy named James, I'd say that is pretty powerful.

I tried to enjoy every minute I did have with him... And I was amazed at how this feeling of excitement and wanting to love again made me feel.... I was floating on air...walking on sunshine amidst the rainy London sky.... I fell for him very quickly... And I blame it not on naiveté, but an eternal optimism and belief in love. And as quickly as I fell, the 3 days were over. I was left saying goodbye to someone I barely knew and yet felt as though I had known already for ages.... A small part of me fantasized that he would chase me to the airport and beg me not to go.... But this wasn't Hollywood.... It was London, and the 3 days were gone, just like James.

It takes a lot to make someone believe in something. And if 3 days and James could make me believe in myself, believe in love, and believe that it is waiting for me, then I am forever indebted to him.... I can't help but feel like it was meant to be.... I believe that, and I have no regrets, even though when I think of him, I feel a small pain in my heart.... But it has left a wide open place for 3 more days....and perhaps even the rest of my life. -M